 | Andy 'CHOPPER' Cunliffe
Andy is the star defender of the team, and no-one gets past without him at least kicking the player, if not the ball.
Rarely seen venturing forward, he and his unfeasably tight shorts know their strengths lie in defence |
 | Scott 'NO PASS' Bassinder
Scott is the star player (in his head) of the team, and can often be seen attempting to dribble around the entire opposition. |
 | Tom 'RED FACE' Whittaker
Tom's special skill is controlling a long pass with his nose - yes it makes him cry, but he does it an awful lot.
Usually found moaning about a sore back, or some other ailment. |
 | Dan 'KEANU' Preston
Usually drunk, about to be drunk, or recovering from being drunk. Good player though. |
 | Andy 'SHOOT, SHOOT - JUST KEEP SHOOTING' Cupitt
Andy can usually be found hovering around the opposition goal mouth - unless you catch him in one of his rare
30 second stints in goal. |
 | Graeme 'USELESS' Kerr
Graeme is like lightening around the pitch, and probably runs the equivalent of a marathon each game. With a
deft touch, and lethal finishing he's an asset to any team. Oh look, a flying pig! |
 | Jim 'CAPTAIN' Kirk
Jim is a strong all-rounder, but doesn't let that get in the way of the odd good old fashioned toe poke! |
 | Rich 'SHOOTY McSHOOTERSON' Smith
This greedy little bastard never misses a game. What he lacks in passing, he makes up for with ridiculous speculative shots |
 | Josh 'FUZZBALL' Morement
Josh doesnt know the meaning of the word 'pass', and im sure he thinks he's the only one on his team sometimes. He will often be heard calling for the ball, even when the team is on the attack and he's the keeper. |
 | Paul 'ROCKET' Civico
When he shoots, its usually best just to get out of the way - or stand in front of the goal where you should be perfectly safe |
 | Pete 'GRANDAD' Evans
He may be pushin 90, but is still usually the best player on the pitch! |
 | Tom 'TOUCH *bleep*' Gee
The less said about the nickname the better, a very useful player though. |
 | Jeff 'CANT THINK OF A NICKNAME' Cupitt
The stronger of the Cupitt brothers, if only because he restricts his shooting to when he's in the general vacinity of the goal. |
 | Mike 'MANIAC' Ackroyd
What can you say - some say he's blind, others say thats an excuse and he's just plain mental, but either way Mikes tackles keep the A&E staff busy on a Wednesday evening. |
 | Farooq 'I'M OPEN' Rauf
Farooq is a decent player, but when he runs his arms flail around as if independant from his body which always gives me a chuckle. |
